Housing Cont'd 1

The night before closing of escrow, I got a call from my real estate agent. She informed me the seller, the seller’s agent, and the property manager of the building had failed to disclose that the designated parking space and storage unit for the condo were not included in the sale ratification. These were deeded easements, and separate, additional yearly fees were charged by the commercial owner.

Utterly befuddled and unaware of this type of provision, I inquired further about the ramifications. My agent’s response was a repeat of the word easements combined with a statement I could get out of the deal with a full refund of my escrow deposit. When I then asked what she would do if she was in my situation, she gave a noncommittal answer. I told her this was not happy news, I would sleep on it, and give her my answer in the morning.

I felt furious to find out my ratified offer, which was way over the asking price, did not include these essential components and more fees were to be added on top of the HOA dues. At the height of the real estate market, my bid was one of 5. Surely, the other bidders were assuming and including ownership of the garage space and storage unit too. Even though I stated a limit, true to form, my realtor insisted I present a specific, higher offer to get the condo. In an unsustainable living situation and trusting her, I acquiesced.

Then, months later with various movers scheduled and packing nearly complete, I get this call at the last minute. As I had given notice to my rental landlord and needed to move, I felt desperate and really did not know what to do. Was this a sign from the invisible world and my Guidance of trouble brewing? Should I bow out of the deal? Having been relegated to two rentals since the divorce and selling my house, the thought of going through the arduous process of finding and moving to yet another rental was far from appealing. I felt terrified, unsure, and confused with home insecurity looming large once again. I had a horrible night’s sleep.

The next morning, I spoke to my realtor and, as a compromise, negotiated a small cash back from the seller and realtors to help offset the additional garage and storage charges. Then I showed up at the title company and signed the escrow documents. I had convinced myself that this condo was to be only a 2 year deal because, surely, my life would change dramatically and positively; thus, I could handle any fallout.

It turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes/miscalculations of my independent life (sans husband). For starters, it’s been 9 years, not 2, and, for the duration, the easement arrangements have presented daily problems. In addition to garage spaces and storage units, the garage owner owns the gate to the driveway, the driveway, and garage doors. They have been in such poor condition consistently malfunctioning and continually allowing for breaches in safety and security for the building. A major part of infrastructure that we residents have no control over. To add to this unfavorable arrangement, the owner is an absentee, disinterested landlord, leaving us to fend for ourselves time and time again.

Compounding matters further, I found out early last year that the Grant Deed issued to me by the title company was incorrect. It stipulated easement document numbers that were for a different unit. For months, I worked and pushed Fidelity National Title Company to reissue and rerecord a revised deed and, accordingly, provide supporting easement documents. I got it done. So, when I sell, all the documents are now in order and correct.

In essence, this condo purchase was the sum total of serious mistakes made by many people involved in the sale. They got paid for their incompetence, lack of care, and oversight. The whole experience of transacting business with an untruthful seller, an inadequate property manager, inattentive realtors, and an established escrow company negligent in providing accurate documentation has been shocking. To my chagrin, quite eye opening too!

Ultimately, I hold myself accountable for choosing my cavalier realtor and making the decision to go through with the sale not fully understanding that getting a call right before escrow closed was indeed a tip to get out no matter how challenging. Ah, the movie Get Out!

And, yay, for the housing market lawsuit and elimination of the 6% fee.

Housing Market Transformation

I enjoyed listening to The Daily podcast on 3/20/24 about the extraordinary legal settlement with the NAR (National Association of Realtors) that will have far reaching effects on the buying and selling of properties. For starters, the standard 6% sales commission has been eliminated. Congratulations to the personal injury lawyer who filed a class action lawsuit on behalf of home sellers in Missouri, took on NAR’s high-powered corporate lawyers, and prevailed, thereby busting the decades-long rigged system.

Referencing Freakonomics and the chapter on real estate agents, in selling and purchasing homes, I have not yet enjoyed the process and found a realtor who truly deserved the high commissions. Now, with this settlement and ensuing changes, I remain hopeful for my upcoming sale.

Momentum Dash

Today’s inspiring dashboard: You are not alone. Plus, “Creativity is contagious, so pass it on.” Albert Einstein

Even in moments where I feel alone, I remind myself the truth, that, in addition to friends, I am surrounded by my team of spirit guides and can call on them anytime for support. I believe the same for each human on earth.

Certainly in terms of creativity and the quote, my tagline is “Let the force of my creativity inspire and spark conversations.” Most definitely, a pass it on intention!

Help

With this grist for the mill, important lifetime, I’ve learned to be self-reliant. There are moments, however, when help is a quiet plea.

Oscars 2024

Jimmy Kimmel was masterful and the singers were terrific, including Ken clad in pink. For me, the most poignant moment was when Robert Downey Jr. walked up to the podium to receive his first Oscar and said, “I’d like to thank my terrible childhood and the academy, in that order.” It struck a note.

Coming from a pre-birth planning perspective, I definitely believe our childhoods are intertwined with our destinies. Maybe he believes so too! Although gearing up for it, I’m not quite in the position where I point blank thank mine publicly, but it seems he is. So, bravo for his triumph and acknowledging that the really awful stuff he went through was purposeful.

Oops Art

In processing the latest thing that went haywire from my actions and not feeling particularly well, referencing my previous post, I found it helpful to return again to Oops Art. In rereading the About page, reviewing the Stories, and absorbing the energy of my art, I am reminded of Oops as levity and segue to self-compassion, compassion for the other players, and forgiveness; that “This journey to embrace and promote Oops continues” and I can add to the Stories page. I had forgotten the importance of humor.

Haywire

On the About page of my website Oops Art, I ask, “So, do you ever have moments when something goes haywire, either from our actions or something else?”

I had one last week when I fell out of awareness and jumped back into the HOA fray, inadvertently igniting serious backlash and personal attacks. In addition to getting involved in likely another frustrating no-win situation, I did not follow my truth in sending a strong email to the community on financials solo, without the signature of my collaborator and originator of the idea. So, it makes sense that it would go haywire and I would be left holding the bag. Yet one more deviating, painful learning experience now duly noted as unnecessary. Onwards and upwards!

International Women's Day 2024

Today, March 8th, in honor and celebration of myself and all the other Warrior women in the world:

“Everyone loves the feminine when soft and calm. What about when she rages unapologetically against injustice, raises her fist in the air? No. Then she should keep her voice down. You can try to burn her at the stake but flames won’t silence her. She is the fire of truth and she will burn your outdated world to the ground. That is why you fear her.” -Ara Campbell

Catalysts For Creativity

My son went off to college in Fall 2008 and in January 2009, I fled my my gorgeous house and long-term marriage. I rented an apartment in SOMA and began the arduous journey of building a new life at middle age. What was I thinking? Actually, I wasn’t. I hadn’t really thought about the impact of empty nest syndrome, what I was doing, and the financial crisis timing. All I knew is that I was overtaken with a surge of energy like my Guidance was pushing me out. I was on a pink cloud, feeling freedom and all the great possibilities of my life. I felt like I was having a love affair with myself. I was so done with the relational neglect and polarization, being a housewife, and the demanding assortment of jobs entrenched in that. No longer could I tolerate the antiquated system of the marriage and working incredibly hard to make a beautiful, love-filled home. I was not appreciated and valued. My life went unnoticed. As the one who paid for everything, he could do whatever he wanted; I had to toe the line. Be a good girl.

Right after moving into a rental apartment vastly smaller than my house, I was struck with the stark reality that I was alone, as I left my entire social circle and marital social standing. A saving grace, though, was looking 10 years younger. I was still pretty, had a lot of energy and sweet, younger men were attracted to me. Even though I dated and had some fun briefly, there was a long way to go for my freedom and autonomy. Divorce proceedings started to escalate towards war. After all, if anyone had the right to leave the marriage, it was him, not me. He could not believe I left him and the house I loved and painstakingly created. Retribution time!

Embroiled in the legal system with soon-to-be ex was treacherous. So many days it felt like I was on the edge, hanging on for dear life. (Reference artwork - Magnificent, Fascinating, Perilous Moments.) I knew I needed to find communities that could support and hold me while I battled. A psychic advisor told me, instead of praying for help, (which, through tears, I told her I was doing), pray to recognize the stimulus to take care of yourself. A pivotal statement! Then along came an email from CIIS (California Institute of Integral Studies) with a flyer for a year-long Sound, Voice, Music Healing Certificate Program. Viewing it as stimulus, I knew I had to investigate. I was still taking weekly voice lessons, loved music, and was definitely interested in healing. I sent in my deposit and attended the introductory weekend. I told myself I would bail if the vibe of the people wasn’t a match. To my delight, everything was a go! For a year, I had weekly and weekend workshops. I was immersed in high creativity, fully supported, and feeling purposeful. Even with the past, years of marriage, and present legal wranglings, I got a glimpse of a future. At this point in time, I found my tribe. That made me feel happy and hopeful.

Toward the end of this successful program, I knew I had to quickly find something else, another community, to inspire and stabilize me. The search happened effortlessly. Receiving a seemingly random email advertising a Voice And Vision art class at SFAI (SF Art Institute), in the summer of 2010, I took a leap and enrolled. It was a class incorporating text in art and was for people of all levels. Even though I had been an art lover and collector in my marriage, I was an absolute neophyte in creating art. Given beginners were welcome, with the intrigue of exploring my “voice and vision”, I felt compelled to engage.

The moment I walked into the studio, resoundingly, I felt like I was home and never wanted to leave. The artistic atmosphere was utterly calming, and I sensed the people in the room were another tribe for me.

The weekly class was on Wednesdays. For some strange reason, only on this day did something stressful happen in the divorce litigation that demanded my immediate attention and threw me into deep fear and insecurity. Perhaps it wasn’t strange at all. Was it a test to see how much I wanted to explore my creativity and autonomy? Would I persevere or buckle under the pressure and give up?

Often, before the class, I would sit in my vehicle crying and feeling so desperate for a reprieve. I remember walking into the class sometimes late from the havoc husband was wreaking; e.g., finding out his attorney subpoenaed Google and AT&T for my records as if I was the cheater. Even with a high-powered attorney, I felt so utterly alone in an ominous ocean of darkness.

To compound matters, quite readily, I realized the students in this class were advanced, highly skilled devotees of this particular teacher. They had taken many of her classes. Feeling inept and scared overall, I somehow managed to hang in.

Within a month, I had a breakthrough facilitated by the teacher. She was masterful at holding an open studio; her classes weren’t overly structured and inundated with instructions. She offered freedom to play and explore and focused on providing catalysts for creativity. On this 4th Wednesday, she told us she would be walking around the classroom with a hat that contained small pieces of paper and each of us should reach in and take 2. We were to add text to whatever images were presented on these pieces.

I got a circle and a triangle. Boom, I was off and running, filled with impetus. It was like magic! For the next number of days, I was up at 5am drawing variations of intersecting circles and triangles, feverishly writing and repeating the words, Turn Around, Spreading Wings. I felt off-the-charts exhilaration for my creative energy. There was no judgment; it did not matter what the images looked like. What was important was my process of exploration and self-expression.

Somehow, this simple circle and triangle combined with text sparked enormous artistry which I pursued relentlessly by taking her many classes from 2010-2017 when she moved away. I happily became one of her devotees. The prominent rewards were surviving the divorce, creating a large amount of beautiful and expressive art out of my passion for justice, discovering and proclaiming I am an artist and writer. Such a brilliant process!

Grok

Word of the day from Dictionary.com. A verb, it means to understand thoroughly and intuitively. A number of years ago, my voice teacher used grokking when describing something significant and piqued my interest.