During a commencement speech at Benedictine Catholic Liberal Arts College in Kansas on May 11, Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker told female graduates that “homemaker” will be one of their most important roles in life. He encouraged women to trade in their career goals to get married, have children, and be a homemaker.
He’s certainly entitled to his conservative catholic beliefs and running his life accordingly. And, make no mistake about it, he is upholding and perpetuating the suppressive, oppressive system of patriarchy with underlying misogyny rampant in Catholicism, other religions and sects, and so many fields of endeavor globally. Women can choose to be complicit or not. (Interestingly, since 1988, his mother chose to work as a medical physicist in the Winship Department of Radiation Oncology at Emory University.) The 2003 movie Mona Lisa Smiles comes to my mind about the portrayal of women in society in the 1950’s.
What happens when the fairytale ends? When the husband and wage earner dies unexpectedly or they part ways? This is something I know a lot about as my mother was a homemaker, and my father died leaving her stranded with 4 young daughters. And, I happened to become a homemaker. After 24 years of investment and taking care of 3 lives, it was shocking to find out my low worth assessed by our legal system when a divorce became necessary. Even though my contributions were crucial and enormous, not being the wage earner, I did not have equal value and was treated as such. I am living proof that full-time homemaking is not an optimal choice of occupation for women. Per economist Myra Strober in What A Wife’s Worth (Stanford Magazine March/April 1998), "Full-time homemaking is probably the riskiest occupation around. It has no protections except the ones that the courts give it.” That is, I add, judges who have unlimited discretionary power with no accountability.
Comprehensive conversations on this important topic are much needed to address the mythology, societal deficiencies, attitudes, and paucity of protections involving value and finance. Hopefully, narrating my experiences will spark these, highlight the overall war on women, and create positive changes.
When hiking and discussing the kicker’s speech with a friend a couple of days ago, I asked, what century are we in? Her reply - the 1600’s.
Yikes!
