How many times have I asked myself, “What did I do to deserve this?” Inherent in this question is the notion of karma and its punishment. Did I have bad karma?
Thankfully, through self-evaluation, therapy, creative arts, and observation of others’ lives, I stopped asking these ridiculous questions and subscribing to karma as punishment. Instead, I now embody a pre-birth planning perspective wherein our souls agree to a distinct blueprint before incarnating based on what we want to work out or evolve through during a lifetime for completion, advancement of “divine virtues” (per Robert Schwartz), resolution, or healing. Karma is integral. I believe we have agreed upon contracts or relationships with specific people such as birth and adoptive parents, siblings, husbands, wives, children, professionals we collaborate with, co-workers, and certain strangers, to help us learn and grow in awareness. Inherent in these relationships are opportunities to experience a myriad of emotions - love, joy, trust, surprise, sorrow, grief, anger, fear, and on and on. In maneuvering through them, we can create more karma that may have to be dealt with during another lifetime when time runs out for this one and the physical body expires.
In analyzing my life of extreme traumas and processing what has happened, I began to connect the dots. In doing so, the glaring question was and still is “What do I need to understand about this?” One unconventional, complicated relationship after another, male and female, with a similar theme of blocking, harassing, and limiting of my voice and potential seemingly in contradiction to my ultimate quest for love, beauty, freedom, and autonomy. This approach of connecting the dots has led to a greater sense of empowerment, trust in my destiny, and belief I am progressing in accordance with Divine Order. Whatever that is!
