“When you C things correctly, you become Creative rather than reaCtive." I had a situation last week that challenged my utilization of this. I met a friend in Marin for a hike. As we hadn’t seen each other for a while, we quickly hugged and then proceeded to walk. Midway through the hike, she started blowing her nose profusely and said she had a “little” cold. Then, she started coughing intermittently. Returning 5 days prior from a 30-day European trip, she likely was a candidate for Covid. As I was not quite centered internally from getting caught up in HOA matters, I didn’t think to ask her when we texted the night before if she took a Covid test after arriving home.
I briskly walked 6 feet apart from her vacillating between fear I was going to get it and anger at her upfront non-disclosure of being sick. When we got back to the parking lot, still distancing myself, I took off my sunglasses, looked her in the eyes, sternly told her she met the criteria for Covid, and I needed her to get a valid test immediately because I was scheduled to be with my son in the afternoon and next day. She promised she would. I then left to go to a nearby grocery store. Surprisingly, she followed me to the store and went into it completely unmasked! 3 hours later she texted saying she just got home and screwed up because her home test had expired. 3 hours later, God knows how many more people she affected and infected! With an hour left to go before seeing my son, I commanded her to go to an urgent care center and get a rapid test. She did and 40 minutes later she sends a text saying, “Ok…so yes, I did test positive! I’m so so sorry!” I became even more livid because I had to forfeit coveted time with my son, cancel special weekend plans, and isolate while anxiously wondering if I was going to become sick within 2 to 5 days.
Admittedly, I did react and went into an utter tailspin for 2 days over her dishonesty, betrayal, and the whole situation which definitely included greatly chastising myself for not being more careful. She’s unvaccinated and I found out doesn’t wear masks, including on airplanes. She has a right to choose vaccination or not. Symptomatic, she does not have a right to infect other people with this potentially life-altering disease. Her deliberate choice to be Covid-ignorant, careless, and mindless over the effect on me and others is unacceptable.
Especially in these Covid times, what kind of a person, knowingly sick, meets with a friend, and then saunters into a popular grocery store without a mask, exposing essential workers and other customers? Perhaps one that is reckless and self-centered.
I did come full circle and realize that I “C” things correctly now and gained clarity in her personality type which is not in alignment with mine. I decided to become “Creative” and wrote her a well-thought-out candid letter expressing my thoughts and speaking out on my behalf and others. Now I’m posting this.
Clearly an Oops for me in inviting her to hike so soon after she returned and not insisting on a negative-Covid confirmation and compound Oops for her! I’m now in the sticky process of forgiveness - myself and her, but I shall not forget! Luckily, I did not get sick, but I did miss precious time with my son.