Last Tuesday I woke up feeling positive and energized. Certainly a welcome relief during these lockdown days! Right away, the lighting in my living room seemed different and, with a very quick glance, I noticed my partially drawn white solar shade was blank. I proceeded to make a cup of green tea and was about to meditate when I looked at the shade again. Absent was the beautiful reflection of the leaves from the large tree directly in front of my window. I opened the shade fully and, to my horror, a huge chunk of it was gone. Gone also was my privacy from the contemporary high rise across the street. With an intense visceral reaction, I started shaking. The shock and severity were triggers catapulting me back to the trauma of waking up one morning as a young girl and finding out my father had died in his sleep. I lost my protector, my ally, my everything. I cannot even imagine the depth of what I felt at the time and for days, months, and years afterwards. This tree and the loss gave me a clue to the stark reality as I became steeped in anger, sadness, and fear. Perhaps an offshoot blessing was processing and chipping away at the grief I haven’t always been aware of but still carry.
Without a doubt, this large-scaled tree has been a protector of sorts shielding me from the view of others, a view of a high rise, the sun bouncing off of it, and weather. It was an asset to my apartment and elevated the scene of my living room as well as my sense of beauty and well-being.
After firing off numerous emails to the board, I received a message with a picture of the fallen branches. Evidently the Monday night strong wind ripped them off. I do believe that both my HOA and city officials are culpable in setting up the vulnerability and breakage by not providing proper tree care and pruning for the last 6 years.
This adds insult to injury as I lost another, similarly large tree outside my bedroom window in 2016, again stripping away all privacy and beauty. A speeding truck driver hit the tree so hard that it had to be chopped down. City living for now!
