Liberation

In this human incarnation, isn’t this what we are all seeking as we flail about in varying degrees? To be free from mental habits and unhealthy behavior, attachments, grasping, resistance, suffering, influence of others, etc., to relish moments of joy, love, compassion, beauty, and explore and express our fullest potential?

Resolve

As a noun, “Firm determination to do something.” In the last couple of days I’ve been receiving information about a loved one that, although disconcerting, is ultimately strengthening my resolve to move forward expressing my voice. An advisor recommended I use the impact of this to inspire me, and I am.

Controlling The Narrative 3

In accordance with growth mindset, I truly feel excited to expand my awareness, understand that it is my responsibility to safeguard my truth as much as possible and make behavioral corrections as I move forward. I just may paint these words a few more times to seal the deal.

Controlling The Narrative 2

This is definitely “up” for me right now. A few days ago there was another incident where someone I know forwarded a link to the “About” page of my Oops Art website to an “influential” friend who thought it was great and wanted to “use” it. Mistakingly, he slanted the narrative in a way that wasn’t beneficial. Immediately on finding out, I firmly clarified the truth of the matter and that I hope this didn’t turn into an Intellectual Property (IP) issue. I was assured otherwise and reached for my acrylic paints.

Controlling The Narrative 1

A couple of weeks ago, the young singer/songwriter Camillo Cabello was running in a park in West Hollywood and, out of nowhere, a paparazzi started taking photos. She was wearing a top that showed her midriff and she was not tucking in her tummy. Dismayed and concerned about photo shaming, she decided to take back/control the narrative. She posted an “I luv my body” video on TikTok showing her belly out and included a narrative on our unrealistic, toxic beauty standards and embracing women’s imperfections. Hooray for her brilliance and courage!

Around the same time, someone asked if I could be featured in a newsletter. I was sent a short list of questions which were reasonable and non-invasive so I said yes. Oh my goodness again! Listed were my answers to all except for the main one, my artistic process. I worked for a half a day on that answer and, surprisingly, it wasn’t included. In its place was a very positive but, at times, slightly inaccurate description. This is the 2nd time the narrative has been altered. The 1st happened with the 2008 publication of my house in which the reporter slanted the focus. I finally get/understand that prior to saying yes, I must make sure I have final approval of what’s written, thereby controlling the narrative, ensuring accuracy and truth. Clearly, this is my responsibility!

Creative Process

Someone recently said to me, “Tell me about your process for creating art”. Here’s what I came up with: my process is based on a fundamental fascination with line and its expressive power combined with inspiration in myriad ways - words, emotions, thoughts, conversation with others, situations, events, current affairs, film, music, dance, fine arts, nature, and/or ideas. Next is playing with lines, words, and color on mix media pads or going straight to canvas, claybord, duralene, or paper using mixed media. I do not create from a planned path of action and do not focus on the outcome; rather, spontaneity is a key force influencing my kinetic art. Finally, there is reflection and often I write essays to accompany my works. Making art is a process for expressing my voice and creativity and is a phenomenal, ever-evolving exploration.

Joseph Campbell

“You must have a room, or a certain hour or so in a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes you. This is place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation.”

Lifelong Learning

Conversing with my son while dining outdoors on Friday, I said if I pass away today, I’d like to leave you with 3 things I’ve learned. Then I asked if he was open to hearing about them. Responding affirmatively, I started with 1) Trust, hold sacred and follow your deep internal knowing/intuition as much as possible; in essence, do not abdicate your authority, 2) When in a low mood and/or wanting and needing to shift energy, upon waking, greet a new day with stripping the bed of all linens and throwing them in the washer followed by the dryer, and 3) Remember the Daily Word quote, “I say yes to the joy that invites me in this moment.” He wanted me to elaborate on these 3 things which I eagerly did. He then asked, for his reference, if I could write these down and continue to add to them.

His request reminded me of the lovely book Loving Yourself by Barbara Lee. In it she said, “My daughter gave me an empty journal for Mother’s Day, asking that I leave her a legacy of affirmations. This is my first response.” It’s an amazing, heartfelt response! We’ll see what I come up with.

Honoring What I know

Happily, I just finished the first round of physical therapy sessions for a small hamstring tendon tear that occurred in March. I’m not sure exactly how it happened but I chalk it up to getting reacquainted with my body after 2020 inertia from shelter-in-place and figuring out how to exercise. Perhaps desperation to make up for lost time was in play too when on my rebounder and hiking.

From the moment I walked into this physical therapy clinic, I felt something was amiss. True to my high sensitivity, sense superseded observance and thought. It turned out the PT that was highly recommended by my orthopedist was 30 minutes late and there was a pervading odor in the main room. Although she seemed attentive for this initial session, I found her to have a strange personality. So, I spent my session answering her limited questions, doing what she asked and monitoring her energy. But, I did it with utmost mindfulness, with utmost consciousness and clarity that what I was feeling and experiencing of something amiss was true and to be honored. This is crucial growth for me. A zillion times in my life starting at a young age, I would find myself in situations where I sensed and observed dynamics in play only to get them dismissed or dismiss them and get stuck in telling myself that there was something wrong with me. This, of course, goes way back to Mom berating me for being sensitive rather than heralding it as a valuable, even sacred asset to be understood and used.

The sessions were interesting. She booked every 20 minutes and wasn’t able to give me undivided attention for the brief 10-15 minutes before she handed me over to her kind but unknowledgeable male assistant. She never addressed me by my name, she inflicted intense pain from stretching my quads without any warning and/or asking how I was doing, she put me on a pilates machine in my socks and walked away, etc. In blurting out that she didn’t think the MRI on my hamstring would show anything, I realized that the exercises she was giving me were aggravating my injury. In addition, my hair and clothes would smell of the unpleasant odor from the disinfectant that attendants repeatedly sprayed all over everything.

Each visit I was close to quitting from the dismissiveness and paucity of communication and attention to detail. My doctor was at the Tokyo Olympics so I couldn’t get another quick referral. I decided to stay for the short term and became very proactive by insisting that some of the exercises were harming me and reviewing all of them, asking more detailed questions, and even bringing my own large towel so that I didn’t leave with the odor. Healing did progress.

I realized that she treats all her patients the same way. It’s just her modus operandi. I didn’t know or hear the names of any of the other repeat patients. As an HSP, simply stated, we’re not a match and in alignment, therefore, I won’t be going back. I love the clarity. Something was amiss. It Just Is.