A person who flouts rules, conventions, or accepted practices. (Dictionary.com word of the day.)
September 1st
Yay! I woke up with zeal and feeling happy as if this day is a milestone. What a grueling 6 months!
Rebalance
One of my friends is a coach and energy worker. She does a good job at staying stable, sane and above the fray. However, last week with the fires raging in her hometown of Santa Cruz, the ash and smoke, she was struggling. I understood as, being human at this moment in time is especially challenging. With the multi-directional stimulation, it takes work to rebalance and continually come back to center.
These last few days for me have been intense with feelings of anger, sadness, and despair. It’s the despair that I’ve found to be scary as it can feel like a bottomless pit. Needing a jolt, this morning I took a zoom dance class and realized I’ve been holding my breath a lot as if hanging onto dear life. It’s amazing how quickly the movement and music extricated me from mental habits and ensuing emotions and brought me back to breathing and awareness of my miraculous body.
Charcoal Dance:
High Octane Entanglement And Disentanglement
In 2011 using permanent markers, I cursively wrote, repeated, and layered these words on rice paper. The writing and color bled through onto the other side, creating a pleasing effect to my eye. (Difficult to photograph and colors non-apparent behind the plexiglass.) This piece was in direct response to the crazy maker I was engaged with and my attempts to disengage via divorce; the ultimate whirlwind of craziness. Often during that process I felt as though I was enrolled in multiple PHD programs simultaneously - law, finance, psychology, ethics. The demands and onslaughts were off the charts and enough to give anyone a heart attack! Anchored by my art, I got through the arduous fight for justice and my rights. I learned a lot, gained an enormous amount of strength, and secured freedom to explore my potential unencumbered.
What we’re all dealing with now individually and collectively, whether it be politics, pandemic, shelter-in-place, economic downturn, fires, racism and inequality, etc., can be described as high octane entanglement and disentanglement. How do we stay aware, resilient, emotional agile, healthy, and stable while disentangling from systematic constraints, move forward with fortitude and optimism, and create new paradigms?
Political Parties
While just working out I was listening to MSNBC The Lead with Jake Tapper. He was posing questions to Charlie Dent a former R congressman who is crossing party lines to vote for Biden/Harris. In agreeing that there needs to be a debate about the future of his party, he added: “Look, I have a lot of friends who are in Congress on Republican side and, look, I know they are just as frustrated as I am. They’re not in a position to say it as I can but they’re frustrated, and they know this is very difficult and that they’re all in a bad situation as is the party.”
I praise him for his courage in coming forward and helping to sway other Republican voters to save our democracy. It is quite something! However, now that he is no longer in office, what does he really have to lose? In listening to the Republicans who spoke at last night’s convention and will also be crossing party lines, I offer the same praise for the good they are doing and caveat. I disagree with Charlie. His friends in Congress have been and are in the perfect position to stand up and end this insanity they have condoned vote after vote for 4+ years in steadfast commitment to GOP priorities over rational governing. That is the courage I seek to witness.
Emotional Agility
A long-time intuitive consultant said two key things to me regarding my decision of whether or not to leave my husband: “I feel the only mistake you can make is to not take this next risk”, and “you’re going to have some emotional hurdles coming up.” In reflecting on these last 11 years, “some emotional hurdles” was a gross understatement. Now, granted, this is all still playing out and is not over yet. But, had I realized the tremendous, seemingly relentless hurdles and big emotional surprises I would encounter in building a new life, I do not feel so sure I would have taken the leap.
In recently listening to Dr. Mark Hyman’s informative podcast featuring Susan David, followed by her great Ted Talk on “The Gift And Power Of Emotional Courage”, I now have more clarity in naming the overall effects of my unconventional journey from victim to transpersonal as she spoke about dismantling rigidity and embracing emotional agility. With each hurdle, I truly have gained more agility in taking steps and experiencing the unknown as if I AM a master in training.
https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_david_the_gift_and_power_of_emotional_courage?language=en#t-88129
Word Of The Day (Yesterday)
Rodomontade - (noun) - “vainglorious boasting or bragging; pretentious, blustering talk” per Dictionary.com.
Now, who do we know that embodies this?
Nonsensical
A couple of weeks ago a checker in the grocery store asked if I wanted paper bags. Surprised at the question, my response was yes. He then proceeded to charge me 25 cents per bag, (an increase from 10 cents pre-shelter-in-place. Typical - people are struggling and misguided SF officials decide to raise the price.) Just like that, a revised health mandate and we were “allowed” to bring in our own bags. There was a caveat though. If we did that, then we would have to keep the bags off the conveyor belt, and the checkers could not put the items in the bags.
Like many people, I have a stash of paper and plastic bags from the original mandates in March. So, a couple of days ago, I collected some of the plastic ones, brought them into a store, and used them for an assortment of vegetables. Feeling satisfied I had put them to good use, I approached the checker and, as I proceeded to place the items on the moving conveyor belt, he politely informed me that we are not allowed to bring in these used bags. Further, he stated that the conveyor belts might become contaminated as well as his gloves. I said okay and thanked him for letting me know.
Granted, I do not like being told what to do! However, I am a reasonable person. Time and time again throughout this lengthy shelter-in-place, I have witnessed contradictory parts of the health mandates, and find them quite bothersome. The checkers do not change their gloves with each new customer. The checkers touch item after item that has been touched by customer after customer. By the time he touches what I’m purchasing, it’s all contaminated as far as I’m concerned, but he can’t put them in used paper bags. Oh, then add that after each customer, they squirt the belt with a little disinfecting solution and wipe it dry using the same cloth time and time again. (BTW, same for restaurants.) Anyone with good cleaning knowledge knows you have to use a new cloth each time to avoid cross contamination. I could go on and on and probably will in future posts.
Nonsense:
Golden Rule
It was a beautiful, sunny day and my son and I were at the farmers’ market standing in a line for the Dirty Girls Dry Farm tomatoes, the absolute best. We were about 5 feet away from the woman in front of us. Suddenly she turned around and angrily commanded us to move back and comply with the 6 ft. distancing rule. The unexpected negativity was a bit shocking. My immediate thoughts were she’s in fear and it’s a good thing she’s not in Texas or another open carry state as her provocative attitude could get her in trouble.
When it was her turn to select tomatoes, she put on gloves and, as she was beginning to place the chosen ones in a bag, her partner joined her. With gloveless hands, he touched so many tomatoes that he did not put in the bag to buy. That’s a rule too - the produce we touch we buy. The scene was comical. How ironic and absurd! In retrospect, with kindness, I wish I had spoken up.
This world would be such a better place if each of us abided by the Golden Rule of “treating others as you want to be treated.” I strive for this and, at times, I too have fallen out of awareness.
It’s very simple though: I/Thou
Be Kind
Early yesterday morning I eagerly awaited the arrival of the Thermador technician and repair of my oven. After ringing my bell, he stood outside 6 feet away from my door and proceeded to ask me many COVID questions to protect himself. He then listed measures he would take to protect me. When that protocol was finished, he entered. Once in the kitchen, he said the work order stated the issue involved the fault code F24 and asked if that was correct. I responded with a no, that F34 is what’s displayed when my oven turns itself off. He then told me if that was the case, he did not have the part (cooling fan) and would have to come back. Sure enough! I then asked if he could book the follow-up appointment ASAP. After waiting on hold, the only appointment he could get was in 4 weeks, with the window of time for a whole day.
(Most likely due to companies not operating at full capacity, I had spent an hour on the phone being transferred from department to department in order to secure this initial two-week appointment with a 2-hour time frame. I had been quite explicit that the fault code displayed on the oven was F34. The customer service representative gave confirmation and said the problem was the cooling fan.)
I felt upset, disappointed, angry that my oven was still on the blink and, to make matters worse, I went to the back of the line for service appointments. Admittedly, there were also a few moments when humor crept in as this was classic. In looking at the technician and recognizing his humanness and the fact that this scenario was not his fault, I immediately thought of what the Dalai Lama said, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” And so I was.